Experience it with Joy
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.
-Isaiah 55:9
I was driving in my car last week—I had just finished teaching and was heading to work. Crossing a bridge, I found myself in a moment of reflection. The thoughts sounded something like:
“Wow, I hate that that happened.”
“Why in the world did I do that?”
There are many moments in my life that I wish had never happened. Just the thought of some of the decisions I’ve made makes me shudder, cringe, and want to hide in a dark hole underground.
Same for you, I imagine.
The day transitioned into night, and I was still restless—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. With each memory that popped up, my stomach twisted more and more. I said to myself, “God, if I could just go back, I’d do it differently, I promise.”
To my shock, the Holy Spirit responded, “No, you wouldn’t.”
I was speechless. I had been wrestling with what I would’ve done differently in these past scenarios the entire day. Suddenly, all the roaming thoughts stopped.
So often, we get caught up in a whirlwind of “shoulda coulda woulda,” “if only,” “just one more time,” and it sucks us into a pit of sadness, despair, depression, even bitterness. None of it moves us forward toward healing; instead, it keeps us trapped in a box of guilt, shame, and condemnation over things we simply cannot undo.
The bigger point the Lord was making to me is that even if I did have a chance to go back and undo it…I would more than likely end up re-doing it anyway.
How does the Lord know that?
Jeremiah 17:10: “But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.” (NLT)
1 Chronicles 28:9: "And Solomon, my son, learn to know the God of your ancestors intimately. Worship and serve him with your whole heart and a willing mind. For the Lord sees every heart and knows every plan and thought." (NLT)
David also says in Psalms 139:1-2, “O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.”
God knows every thought that swarms around in our minds, and He knows our hearts’ true intent. Do you understand? The Lord knows us more than we could ever know ourselves. We all hope and believe that if we could go back, we’d do it differently. But the Lord says, “I know you, and you wouldn’t.”
Maybe that brings some solace to you. It oddly did for me. Or maybe it makes you feel more down in the dumps, realizing that you’d make the same mistakes over again. However, it’s not like we’d be the first ones in the history of the world to repeat our mistakes.
All we have to do is look at the Israelites in the book of Judges to see the nature of humans in all our frailty. The book of Judges is a prime example of when given the chance to do it over again, we’ll often forget what we’ve learned and turn back to what we know.
This may be sounding worse and worse, but stick with me. Looking back at my life, I’ve gotten stuck in damaging cycles that caused me and others to stumble. With that reflection, two questions popped up regarding my desire to return and “make things right.”
The reflective questions to myself were:
“Whose power am I trying to ‘make things right’ in?”
“Who am I trying to ‘make things right’ for?”
It was a “Who do you think you are?” kind of moment, honestly. What power do I have to change things? Am I trying to make things right for my comfort? For God? We know the word says in Proverbs 19:21 that we can make our plans, but God’s plan prevails.
So, the question I now pose to you is, how do you know that what you’re trying to go back and “make right” isn’t a part of God’s plan to prevail in your life?
To go back and do things differently, we’d have to go back with the knowledge we have now. The only reason we have that present knowledge and wisdom though, is because of the consequences we endured and or the lessons we learned while going through what we went through.
If those situations didn’t happen to mold and shape you into who you are today, would you be further ahead or farther behind?
I’m not sure.
But one thing I do know for sure is that,
The situation brought the pain. The pain brought the lesson. The lesson built the strength.
If I went back in time, I'd do things all the same way. Why? because I’m human. I’m a sinner. I’m weak. But I’d also do things the same way because it would place me exactly where I am today, which is exactly where God wants me to be.
So what do you do, when you’re…
Stuck in the past of your mistakes?
Wishing you’d done things differently?
Feeling uncertain of how things will work out?
I’m glad you asked.
First, understand the blessing of the Lord’s words to Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
When you start feeling the weight of your mistakes and become buried in guilt, shame, and inadequacy, know that God’s grace alone is sufficient in providing you with all that you need. This includes freedom from any feeling of condemnation, plus the strength to move forward knowing that in our moments of weakness, God’s strength becomes all the more evident in our lives.
Secondly, trust in the promise of the Lord who “causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28, NLT)
Those recollections that make you shudder, cringe, and sometimes want to slide down a wall crying…are working together for your good—right now. We may not know exactly how or when the “working together,” will work together, but we know that it will work together because our God says so.
Lastly, experience it with joy.
Experience what with joy? Well…all of it…everything that you are currently going through.
The joy of the Lord is our strength. Our strength to overcome our past, our strength to move forward in our present, and our strength to be hopeful for our futures knowing that there is an expected end (Jeremiah 29:11).
And while we know we have an expected end, we can also have hope in knowing that we will see the goodness of the Lord yet in the land of the living (Psalms 27:13). Yes, there’s joy on the other side of this life with our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ, but there’s a present joy that the Lord is calling for us to grab hold of to carry us through this journey we find ourselves on.
The final testimony I’ll leave you with is David’s.
We’ve heard of the triumph of David defeating Goliath, but if you’ve read David’s full life story, then you also know about his not-so-triumphant encounter with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11-12),
After he arranges for Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, to be killed in battle (Yep, not the brightest day for David), David marries Bathsheba, who becomes pregnant. However, the Lord is deeply displeased with David’s actions, and because of this, the baby falls deathly ill after being born. David fasts and begs the Lord to save the child, but the Lord’s decision has already been made.
There was a deep sorrow from the sin committed, yet his fervent prayers couldn't change the past.
When the whispers of his advisers reveal that his child has died, guess what David does?
He gets up, washes himself, puts on a new set of clothes, and goes to the Tabernacle to worship the Lord. His advisers couldn’t believe it. This was the same man who was just crying and refusing to eat—now, after his child dies, he suddenly works up some energy and an appetite?
This was David’s response:
“I fasted and wept while the child was alive, for I said, ‘Perhaps the Lord will be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me.”
(2 Samuel 12: 22-23)
He humbly accepted God's decision, found peace with the past, and worshipped in his present situation. And that wasn’t the end of David’s lineage. Soon after, Solomon, divinely chosen by God, would be born.
Like the Israelites freed from bondage, David's testimony is this: even when sin's darkness lingers, God's redeeming hand reaches out. Though we may face the consequences of our actions, God's plan for us is unique, beautiful, and perfect. Have peace in the matter, that is your present situation, knowing your mistakes, though crimson, have been washed in the blood of the Lamb and a new way ahead is being forged by the Lord.
Even as I type these words, God is yet working in every one of us, crafting a brighter, divinely purposed future. All we have to do is turn our heads from the past and see it. It’s as the prophet Isaiah says under the unction of the Lord: “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” (Isaiah 43:19)
You may be ruminating over your past decisions, working through the rubble of what seems like a devastating scene. I’m here not just to encourage, but to implore you to step outside of your mind and experience this moment with joy. That pain, the grief, those disappointments—experience it all with joy. Because this isn’t the end. It’s only the beginning of something new God has in store for you.
It’s easy to get sucked into the idea of what we should’ve done or would do if we had the chance to go back. But like David, what do you do when what has been done has been done and the moment cannot and will not return?
You get up, you wash yourself in the Word, and you come into the presence of God to worship. Leave it there. Let it go. Move forward.
Because only God knows.
